Anyone who has had the pleasure of being invited to a Lithuanian’s home will confirm the splendid hospitality that they show their guests. From an ‘American’ point of view it can be almost overwhelming. Even someone who has little to spare and lives in an ‘old shoe box’ will do their best to make you feel welcomed. There must be a law that states that the entire house and property must be spotless from top to bottom. And beverage bottles should never remain half empty on the table. Dinner is often a traumatic experience for those who are watching their weight. And a challenge for ‘big eaters’ such as myself. Just when you think that there can’t possibly be anything you haven’t already yet tasted or tried before…out comes another specialty!
Personally I’m flattered by the attention that I receive as a guest but a little uncomfortable with all of the ‘fuss’. Somehow I feel obligated to let the host know that while I appreciate the the “RED CARPET” treatment, I’m just a commoner and don’t expect it.
The very first time I entered my wife’s parent’s house I found myself struggeling to remember exactly how a old friend used to put the host at ease. At that time I had seldom spoken Lithuanian. Then it came to me and I blurted out “Ne reikia, Aš esu darbininkas ne karalaitis”! (translated to..”It’s not necessary, I’m a ‘worker’ not a ‘prince’!) This immediatley put me in ‘good standing’ in the eyes of my in-laws.
There is also a deep respect for the average working class man in the Lithuanian culture. On another ocassion we found ourselves attending an outing along with my in-laws and some family members. I knew before hand that we would be cooking food on the grill so I insisted that I be allowed to prepare a couple of American style favorites for my new family to try. When it came time to brush a glaze over some pork ‘Kabobs’ there was no brush to be found. My father in-law started to search for it, while he was gone I cut a small bundle of overgrown grass and tied it with a thin vine. His eyes perked up and a huge smile followed. I think this simple act didn’t agree with his preconceptions about people from comparitvely wealthy countries such a America. He’s not a man of many words but he managed to express his approval by saying ‘Jūs esate Lietūvis’ (you ARE a Lithuanian!) Later on when his daughter and I were teasing each other about our faults (by this time we were very full and I was pretty much drunk, along with the rest of the party) He again spoke up and told my wife that if our marriage goes bad, it’s HER fault. That sobered everyone up for a moment. Needless to say I was pleased that I had gained his respect.
Finally the subject of alchohol consumption must be covered! This seems to be a national competiton. In small familiar gatherings it is not uncommon that a single glass be passed around the table. Constantly being refilled by the host from a ‘MAGIC BOTTLE’ that never gets empty as it travels around the table. As a former sailor, fisherman and carpenter I thought I could survive any drinking contest. I had been offered ‘Samagonas’ (moon-shine) on many occassions back in the states but had never before accepted the invitation. Much to my dismay and I hope to your amusement, I was out done by my wife’s eighty six year old great-aunt from Dzukija who dealt the final blow by gently nudging me an saying, “Mykolas, If you’re not going to drink some more you should pass the glass to me”!
A couple of days later I found myself in a similar situation only this time the setting was more formal and we all drank from seperate glasses. By then I had learned to keep a sharp eye out for the appearence of that Magic Bottle! When I felt I had enough I simply turned my glass up side down on the table to politely signify that I no longer desired to continue drinking rocket fuel! The same old woman smiled at me and said “OH!…you’ve learned that custom quickly!
