I Often Wonder?

(Some people can’t see the ‘forest’ because the ‘trees’ are in their way…)

(Others never see the ’sun rise’  because they refuse to leave the ‘forest’)

 

Long before I had met my Lithuanian wife, before the collapase of the Soviet Regime and as far back as my very early childhood…I aways had a very strong feeling of connection to Lietuva. Certainly I was aware that I was an American, as far as a child could understand. Yet when relatives came calling I could recognize that there was something different about them. Something that didn’t quite fit the mold of other ‘Americans’. This difference was subtle in many ways yet captivativing in others. Perhaps the strongest attraction to them was their spoken and unspoken ways of making me truely feel that I was just as much part of the Lithuanian ‘Tribe’ as they were. They never ‘forced’ our heritage on me. They simply shared their thoughts and memories. Something magical always seemed to take hold of them when they did so. I was too young to fully understand it all back then. But a team of wild horses could not pull me away from their sides.

I’m American Born and my father’s family held their Slovak heritage close to heart. I knew many of them well, And they treated my in very much the same way as the Lithuanian half of the family. I was always happy to see them and listen to their own stories. Yet that ‘Magic’ wasn’t there. I never realted to the Slovak ‘persona’ …for lack of better words.

I spent my childhood years and even into early adulthood in very much the same way that every other American did. And I have a certain pride in my connection to America. I even served ‘My’ country’s armed forces. Yet I  always knew that the people and land to which I owe my existance remained far away and was at that time inaccessable. The thought of Lietuva being held against it’s own free will, for such a long time, sat heavy in my heart.

I always felt strongly that the Soviet Union could not much longer remain intact. Lithuanians and other nationalities were more than ready to release themselves from their bondage. I recall listenening to a man on a radio broadcast program. I never did get his name. He stated with such strong conviction that the Ukrainians were so ‘keyed up’ that it would be only a matter of time before they start hunting down Russians in the streets. Similar remarks were attributed to the sentiments of the people of the Baltic States. What struck deepest was his firm belief that the Soviet Empire could no longer maintain itself. It had to fall!

Just a few years later this came to be. I remember sitting in front of the television in a awe of the sight of even the Russians using armed force to remove the remnants of Soviet control from their own government buildings. And waited impatiently for Lithuania to drive the first stake through the heart of the ‘Vampire’.

The violent reaction to the solidarity of the Lithuanian people on the night of January 13th, 1991 did not surprize me at all. I had expected far worse. As undesirable as the results were for those few brave souls who sacrificed their lives that evening…it was necessary. We owe a great debt to all who left the comfort of their homes that evening to stand in the face of tyranny.

Lithuania’s reclamation made it possible for many to set foot on her soil for the very first time. I made the first journey with my wife who is from Kaunas and lived her entire life until that point of time under Soviet rule. I was the first in my family to return to Lietuva for more than 100 years. I know the spirits of my grandparents and relatives were on that flight with me. They waited to accomany me and their own dreams  of returning came true when my foot first touched ‘LITHUANIAN’ soil.

One would think that when I go to Lietuva that I would be eager to visit all of the historical places and to tour as many cities as possible. Odd as it may sound, I am very much content with just being there. Even overwhelmed by the reality of it all. For now I continue to live in the U.S. because I was not born wealthy and I am a common working man. But I know in my heart that ‘Lietuva’ is my home, the Lietuviais are my people. Lietuva calls to me from a distance, every day, without exception. I know I will never feel complete and nor will my wife, until we wake up every morning to the sights and sounds of what is dear to us.

I often wonder if there are others who feel this way.

English Students (Lithuanian)

I just spent a few hours exploring a list of English Language Blogs which are maintained by students of the Mykolas Romeris University, Vilnius, Lithuania.

As part of a Language Awareness program they are required to create their own English Language blogs. A list of current students and links to their individual blogs is presented in the link that I have provided below.

http://gkavaliauskiene.blogspot.com/

If you are curious to see examples of accomplished English language students then I highly recommend that you take the time to visit their blogs and perhaps commend them for their efforts.

This in my opinion is just another example of my belief that Lithuania remains in good hands. Lithuania has no shortage of capable ‘Pilots’ to guide it through the often times difficult passes found in the ‘Sea of Tomorrow’.

If you are a registered ‘Google’ user, Please don’t hesitate to offer a few words of encouragement on their individual blogs.

Lithuanian Photography

I’ve always admired photographers and their ablity to capture a fleeting moment and preserve it for others to admire, enjoy or simply reflect upon.

If the possibility of even a short visit to Lithuania seems unlikely you should be aware that there are many amateur and professional photographers that have taken on the task of bringing Lithuania to you.

Don’t satisfy yourself with antiquated text book images! There is so much available for your viewing pleasure. I’m fond of the folks at Flickr.com.

Grab a cold beer, a glass of wine or a hot cup of coffee and get comfortable. Then follow my link to Flickr.com and type in “Lithuania’ in the search box. Be prepared to spend a few enjoyable hours of presentations of all aspects of Modern Lithuanian Life as seen through the eyes of many talented artists.

Don’t forget to stop back here and share your comments!

Here it is!

http://www.flickr.com/

Lithuanian Women

 

 

 

 

Here in the U.S. we celebrated Mother’s Day just a few days ago. Lithuania honored motherhood on the previous Sunday. 

 

Men sow the seeds and share in the responsibilities for the most part with the best of intentions. But the greater portion of devotion and dedication comes from the heart of the Mother.

 

I can think of no other position of responsibility and importance that compares in significance to that of motherhood. Women bring life into this world and nurture and care for their offspring while placing their own needs at the very end of the list of priorities. Often times offering additional support and making further sacrifices for their sons and daughters and extended families for many years. 

 

I share in our love for Lithuania and our people and have spent countless hours, year after year, reading about and listening to stories about highly revered figures who have left their mark upon the pages of Lithuanian History.

 

They are remembered in songs and captivate the minds of adults and children. Statues are dedicated to them and their names are given to institutions all across the Lithuanian landscape. But their numbers were relatively few and their accomplishments were limited to what could be achieved during the most fruitful years of a given lifespan.

 

 If one dares to recognize the simple truth, It has been the countless ranks of women whom for centuries have made the most vital and enduring contribution to the preservation and continuation of our Lithuanian Legacy. Yet I am unaware of the existence of even a single monument to their sacrifices.

 

I will some day go to my grave and rest assured that our future is being safeguarded by the most determined guardians that god has ever placed on his earth.

 

 

Where are they now?

 Flowers for Ausra and Laura….

 

Many years ago I came across an article published in the L.A.C. “Bridges” News letter. They made mention of an effort to bring a little cheer into the lives of orphaned Lithuanian Children. It was basically a pen-pal program of sorts.

 At that time in my life I was a young man, a former Sailor, working as a Carpenter. Not exactly the type of person that one would expect to be interested in the lives of misfortunate children who lived on the other side of the ocean. Being as young as I was, I had no idea what the future would bring for myself, let alone two children so far away. (I was never insensitive to the needs of others.) And at that time, for all of the good I could see in the world, there was just as much bad.

I came to a point where the dark clouds always seemed to be following me. I soon came to the conclusion that even though I was seemingly unable to keep my own head above water, perhaps I could help someone else. I simply wanted to believe that I could  cause something good to happen, somewhere.

I made contact with the caretakers of two young girls who resided in Vilnius. One child “Ausra” was taken in by an aging man who was struggeling to get by on a very modest pension. The other child “Laura” was being raised by her grandmother who also had limited resources. Both children had lost or been seperated from their parents.

I can recall hearing stories from others about relatives who were looking for a hand out. Still others warned me that my decission to get involved with these children could possibly draw me in as an unsuspecting target for greedy caretakers who could be using these children to solicit money from abroad for selfish reasons. The problem I had with that train of thought was that the needs of two young girls should not be ignored for the sake of fear of being slighted by adults. I was further warned that it would not take long until subtle requests for gifts and money would be presented.

Nothing of the sort had ever occurred. I simply excanged occassional letters and birthday greetings with the children. They shared what thoughts that were on their minds as best they could at such an innocent age. They looked forward to my short letters written in far from perfect Lithuanian. And I too was eager to hear from them. It was not long before I was given the honor of being called ’Dede’ or ‘Uncle’. This sat well in my heart.

All the while I had never once received a request for money or items from their caretakers. My own financial situation was not very good. But I realized that my situation was far better than theirs. So I did send small packages with gifts and silly items that I knew would be guaranteed to put an extra smile on their faces. I also made sure to send practical items such as winter clothing. When small fortunes would come my way I began to send a litte money to their caretakers to help ease their woes. But never once did they ask.

One caretaker even suggested that I take care of myself first. His intentions were genuine. He did ask one time only if I could find a proper dress for his child’s first Holy Communion. He simply wanted that day to be as special for her as was for other children who were better off. I never thought I would find myself shopping for little white dresses! I still have the photo of Ausrele wearing her new dress in front of the church. I’m also the last one you might expect to hold on to such an item! But it reminds me of a special, yet short lived relationship with a precious child.

My contact with both girls was lost due to a multitude of circumstances. Sometimes the winds of life can hurl you in many directions and leave you without hope of finding the way back. I remember the words to a song that warned: ‘When you’re caught by a gale and you’re full under sail…remember the dangers below!” Well, like all of you, I’ve been through plenty of storms. Loosing contact with them was one of many painful ship  wrecks.

A few years ago I received a “message in a bottle” from one of the girls. It was a brief letter that found it’s way to me so many years later. She included an e-mail address. I contacted her immediately and exchanged a single elctronic letter with her. Then the worst happened. My Computer crashed. By the time I was able to replace it, her e-mail address had expired. I wrote to the return address on her original letter but have never heard from her. So now I often find myself wondering If I will hear from her again.

Many times I sit alone and wonder what has become of them both. I wonder what their lives have been like. They are both young women now. Are they married? Have they started their own familes? Are they living well? I’d be satisfied to simply know that they are healthy and O.K.

It’s a strange weight that I carry on my shoulders. On one hand I know that I brought at least a very small amount of happiness into their lives when they were very young. On the other hand I know that severence of our communications may have caused adverse afffects.

I’m still sitting on the shore, praying for another message in the bottle.